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SLINGSHOT(2005)beginswithaflashforwardtotheclimacticscene,withTaylor(BalthazarGetty)beggingAsh(DavidArquette)to"putdownthegun,man!"astheystandonadark,desertedcitystreetwithcopcarsbearingdownonthem.ButAshdoesn'tputdownthegun,man.Something'sbugginghimbig-time,andwhenthepolicescreechtoastop,hepointsthegunandBANG!<br/> Here'sthebadnews:inordertofindoutwhatjusthappened,orrather,whatisgoingtohappenattheendofthemovie,youhavetowatchSLINGSHOT.Ormaybeyoucouldjustfindsomeonewhohasseenitandaskthemwhathappenssoyoudon'thavetowatchit.Justlookforsomeonewhoiswanderingaroundaimlesslyinastateofextremeboredomand/ordisbelief.Chancesare,they'vejustwatchedSLINGSHOT.<br/> Nowweflashback,wayback,towhenTaylorandAshwerelittlekids,andtheypromiseeachotherthatthey'llalwaysbefriends.Ashbeansagirlwithhisslingshot,indicatingthathe'saproblemchild.ThenthelittleTaylorandAshwalkalongkickingarocktogether,andsuddenlyweflashforwardandthey'rethegrown-upTaylorandAsh,kickingwhatisprobablyadifferentrockastheyhitchhikecross-countrylookingforcarstostealandpeopletorob.<br/> Oneoftheirfavoritescamsistopickupwell-to-dohockeymomswhoaren'tgettingenoughoftheoldbone-aroofromtheirhusbandsandgohomewiththemforsomeillicits-e-x,whichallowsthemtocasethejointfromtheinsideandmakeoffwithstufftheycanfencetoabeautifulRussianclubownernamedFastBobby(SvetlanaMetkina).Ofcourse,theyexpectFastBobbytobeaguyuponmeetingher,whichisacomicideathatIfirstencounteredduringanepisodeof"PetticoatJunction"whenIwasaboutnine.<br/> AlreadyIwasbeginningtoformanintensedislikeforthesecharacterswhichwouldonlygrowstrongerasthemovielurchedforward.WhilehangingaroundaLittleLeaguehockeyrink,AshgivesaninsecurekidnamedTraceythebenefitofhisvaluablelifeexperiencewhilesharingajointwithhim.Lateron,wefindthatTracey'sbrief,magicalencounterwithAshhasactuallyhadapositive,life-changingeffectonhim,whichismeanttobeheartwarming.Ohh-kay.<br/> Meanwhile,TayloristurningonthecharmforalovelyhockeyMILFnamedKaren(JuliannaMargulies,wholookswaybetterwithoutthatBrillo-headhairstyleshesportedon"E.R.")andisinvitedbacktoherpadforsome--heh,heh--"sex."ThisprovestobesuchapleasantexperienceforTaylorthathe'sinnohurrytoransacktheplaceandblowtown,whichmakesthealreadyunstableAshveryantsy,irritable,and,yes,jealous.Taylor'shisbuddy,see--theonlypersonintheworldwhowillhaveanythingtodowithhim--andhedoesn'tlikeitwhenanyoneelsebesideshimgetstospendqualityTaylor-time.<br/> Longstoryshort,Karenturnsouttohaveacute19-year-olddaughternamedApril(ThoraBirch),andwhenTaylormeetsher,hefallshead-over-heelsinlovefasterthanBenjaminBraddockfellinlovewithMrs.Robinson'sdaughterElaineinTHEGRADUATE.Andinadevelopmentthatstrainsviewercredulitytothepointofwhiplash,AprilfallsrightbackinlovewithTaylorevenafterhetellsherwhathe'sbeenuptowithhermother.BecauseAprilisoneofthosepeoplethatexistsonlyinthemovies--abeautiful,hotyoungbabewhoisincrediblylonely.<br/> Weknowshe'slonelybecausethere'samontageofherdrivingaroundtownlookingfromsidetoside(forlove)andsittingbyherselfinacafe',barelyabletosipherFrappucino,alltothetuneofareallysadsong.So,naturally,ano-accountscamartistlikeTaylorisjustthethingtomakeheryoungheartgoalla-flutter.AndinlesstimethanittakesforherandTaylortoengageinastringofendlesslydullsceneswithsomeofthedumbestandmostpointlessdialogueeverwritten,theyplantorunofftoBrooklyntogether.Yes,Brooklyn.<br/> Butnow,withhissignificantbuddygoingallsappyforsomeoneelse,Ashfinallybeginstogoovertheedge.Hegetsagun,startsburningcigaretteholesthroughtheheadsinhisTaylor'n'Ashsnapshots,andstartsmakingwackyDavidArquetteexpressionsofemotionalturmoil.HemakesoffwithAprilonthepretenseofgoingtomeetTaylor,andstartswavinghisgunaroundasheberatesherforstealinghisonlyfriendawayfromhim.Shereactstothisbyactingasthoughsomething'svaguelyamiss.Taylorracestotherescue,leadingtotheaforementionedscenethatwasflash-forwardedtoatthestartofthemovie."Putdownthegun,man!"BANG!<br/> TosaythatSLINGSHOTisdisjointedandunevenlydirectedislikesayingCharlesMansonisalittlecoo-coo.Manyofthesceneslookandsoundlikeaseriesofslapdashscreenteststhathavebeenstrungtogether,withshakycameraworkthatgoesinandoutoffocusasittriestobe"artsy"butonlysucceedsinbeing"fartsy."ThepartwhereTaylorsolemnlytellsAprilaboutthetimeayoungAshwastraumatizedwhenhisoldmanservedhimasteamingbowlofdoggy-beefstewaftercookingthefamilydogisaparticularlyrichsliceofunintentionally-funnybathos.Tomakethingsworse,thedialogueoftensoundsasthoughtheactorswerepaidabonuseverytimetheymanagedtosqueezethe"F"wordintoeverysentencemultipletimes,whichreallygetsoldafterawhile.<br/> JuliannaMarguliesandJoelyFisherashergal-palEmmadowhattheycanwithacoupleofdopeyroles.BalthazarGetty,unfortunately,keptremindingmeofCharlieSheeninHOTSHOTSthewholetime,whileDavidArquettejustseemsbettersuitedtocomedyandshouldavoidtryingtoconveydead-seriousintensityinthefuture.AndThoraBirch'sterminally-detached"April"barelyseemstoexistinthesamedimensionastherestofthecharacters.<br/> Ifyouwanttoseeamovieaboutacoupleofdrifterswhodreamofabetterlife--onelevel-headedandrelativelyintelligent,theotherunpredictable,unstable,anddependantonhissmarterbuddytogethimthroughlife--youmightgiveOFMICEANDMENatry.SLINGSHOT,somewhatsimilarinregardtotheTaylorandAshcharactersandtheireventualfate,isabitlikesomethingJohnSteinbeckmighthavewritten--rightaftersomeonewhackedhimintheheadwithashovelfiveorsixtimes.<br/> 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